This is the time for us to reflect, for us to be real with ourselves and come out of this better than we were before our lives were essentially roadblocked. For me, I took this as a chance to learn about myself again. I wanted to rediscover who I was as a woman and a mother.
I've been single for years but every now and then someone comes along and gives me hope. Then after awhile that hope begins to fade and reality sets in. My mom always told me that when the day came I realized my true beauty, I would be unstoppable. I never understood that until I was put in a situation where I had nothing but time.
My emotions...my feelings have always been defined based off of someone else. In those moments I lose myself so deeply because I'm trying to be someone that I'm not or someone that I shouldn't have to be. Instead, I allow what I feel for this other person, to be my guide, to be my sanity. The truth is, it's a foolish yet simple mistake. And if I really wanted to (which I do) I can change that.
Nobody, I mean nobody can determine who we are, what we do and where we are headed. Our path is solely ours to make. The mistakes that I have made or that you have made doesn't define or take over what our future is supposed to be. I don't seek perfection but I do seek the knowledge to better myself and to always remember that my self worth should always remain strong. Even when I fall hard, I can't forget to get back up and dust off whatever I allowed to take away my steps.
You guys. Don't worry, I'm okay. This isn't some cry for help or a posting about someone who damaged my soul. This is about reflection. The girls are sleeping and it is with the quiet that I find my peace. And with that, I write my thoughts.
Knowing who I am hasn't always come easy. I haven't always pinpointed the exact moment that I gave too much of myself. Sometimes I slip up and fall back into my old ways. But my reality is this...IF I'M SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE TO CHANGE MY LIFE, THEN I BETTER DAMN SURE (EXCUSE MY FRENCH) LOOK IN THE MIRROR BECAUSE NOBODY IS GOING TO DO IT FOR ME.
It doesn't take a genius to know that we can be our biggest ally or we can be our worst enemy. I think we should all choose to be our biggest supporters no matter what we're going through.
And if you ever see your self-worth slipping away, stop, take a breath and remember who you are. ALWAYS.